What is the Gottman Method?

Stephanie has been fully trained in the Gottman Method of couples counselling.
The Gottman method for healthy relationships is based on 40 years of clinical research by Dr John Gottman and identified and tested elements of lasting relationships. The treatment focuses on developing the skills and understanding necessary for partners to maintain fondness and admiration, help each other to get needs met, and manage conflict. It also focuses on how couples can react and repair relations when they do hurt each other.
The Gottman Method is for all couples at any stage of a relationship. It may be particularly useful for couples who are
  • Stuck in conflict
  • Coping with infidelity
  • Struggling with communication
  • In a relationship that feels ‘stuck’ or emotionally distanced
  • Facing specific difficulties such as finances, parenting or intimacy

What to Expect

Couples begin treatment with an assessment process and an overview of what the Gottman Method is. It continues with:
  • Each partner establishing a relationship with the therapist by sharing their history, their relationship philosophy and their goals for treatment.
  • Undergoing a thorough inspection of the relationship, including engaging in discussion of a topic on which partners disagree.
  • Learning the research-derived components of healthy relationships.
  • Strengthening the fondness and respect that first brought the partners together.
  • Direct teaching from the therapist on interaction skills and developing trust.
  • Acquiring tools for checking and maintaining relationship health beyond therapy.
The Gottman Method focuses not only on providing practical skills for managing relationships, but on delivering deeper insight into how the relationship dynamics developed.

The length of treatment depends on the severity of a couple’s challenges. Researchers have studied it using ten sessions as a benchmark, but the duration is ultimately a decision made by the couple and the therapist.

How It Works

The Gottman Method is built on decades of research and observation into how couples interact. Gottman found that negativity has a strong impact on our brains, and that, unless couples take steps to counteract instances of negativity, they grow apart emotionally. The method identifies and addresses the states of mind and behaviors shown to underlie intimacy and helps partners maintain a positive orientation to each other that can sustain them through upsetting circumstances.
The resulting treatment focuses on the nine components of a healthy relationship, what Gottman calls “The Sound Relationship House.” It includes the following:
  1. Build Love Maps: Assessing how well partners know each other’s inner world: their hopes, stressors, worries, and desires.
  2. Share Fondness and Admiration: A focus on the level of respect and tenderness that exists between the couple.
  3. Turn Towards Instead of Away: Being aware of your partner and responding when you can sense they need something emotionally.
  4. The Positive Perspective: Approaching problems and repairing relationship failures with a positive attitude.
  5. Manage Conflict:​​ While conflict in a relationship is inevitable, and can even sometimes be beneficial, Gottman says, managing it is different from resolving it. Some problems can be fixed, but many relationship conflicts must simply be managed.
  6. Make Life Dreams Come True: Creating an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about their hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
  7. Create Shared Meaning: Understanding important narratives, myths, and metaphors about the relationship.
  8. Trust: Gottman defines trust as partners knowing that each will think and act in the best interest of the other.
  9. Commitment: Knowing that your partner will stick with you through the rough patches and work to get through them. It involves a focus on gratitude for who your partner is and what they do in the relationship.
Although individual perspectives and wishes are addressed, all therapy sessions following the assessment in the Gottman Method are conducted with both partners.

Fees

The initial 90-minute session including online assessment tools, to be completed individually by both partners between sessions two and three is $300.
All subsequent 90-minute sessions are $250.
Some private health insurance funds provide rebates for psychology and/or counselling services, depending on whether you have an eligible policy and level of cover.

Book an Appointment

Look Up Psychology is based on Pittwater Rd, Dee Why and on George St​, Dymocks Building, and providesTelehealth services Australia wide.
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 1300 956 198
Locations:
  • Dee Why Commercial Tower
    Level 1, Suite 4106 / 834 Pittwater Rd, Dee Why, 2099
  • Dymocks Building
    Wellshare, Level 7
    ​428 George St, Sydney, 2000

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